OSS Days 5-7 — Frustration (or Why Being a Grown-up Sucks)

Days 5-7 did not go well. I woke up to a dreary Friday morning feeling sore in my legs and back, so I decided to take the day off. Didn’t seem like a big deal at the time; I had off all day on Saturday. So we ran some errands instead. I went to work and things started going downhill from there. Work didn’t go great, putting me in a bad mood, culminating in me eating some fries. By the time I got home, the only thing I wanted was to eat everything unhealthy in the world. Cheese curds, chicken wings, cake, pizza. To name a few.

Once I got home, it was straight to cooking dinner. It was a billion degrees in the kitchen and the vegetarian meal didn’t go well (as chronicled in “The Vegetarian Adventures”). So that didn’t help.

Saturday, I woke up tired after another bad night’s sleep. I had every intention of going to the farmer’s market, then working out. And of course, it’s pouring rain. Terrible weather, the entire day. Seeing as how I do not have any gym memberships and live in a very small apartment, working out has become very weather dependent for me. So we went to Whole Foods.

By this point, I was frustrated because I couldn’t work out again, making it the third straight day (with Sunday looking dim with work in the middle of the day and a very late night of work Saturday, and Monday and Tuesday also not looking promising). I was frustrated because I have no money to buy a gym membership, even though I’ve been working a ton. I was frustrated because I just wanted to eat a bunch of unhealthy food. I was frustrated because I had a ton of stuff I wanted to do and no money or time for most of them.

Sometime Saturday afternoon, I reached a point that I’m all too used to. I become so frustrated with everything that I rebel against it. With school, this usually meant saying screw studying and playing video games for a day straight. It’s like a stress relief tornado. Too much of a pressure difference, so I punch through with a destructive (or in this scenario, completely unproductive) day.

But I didn’t have enough time for this mass stress relief. I could see myself reaching this point, and I knew I would lash out by bingeing on unhealthy food and being super lazy for a few days. Usually these ‘stress relief tornadoes’ help me mentally calm down and check back in, but they never address the underlying problem. We did order out for dinner, but I managed to control myself. Instead of bingeing, we ordered pizza from a restaurant that focuses on all-natural and organic ingredients (and stripped down pizzas by my standards) with very little meat. And it was pretty good. But I was still pretty frustrated.

Sunday–as I had predicted–I did not work out again. It’s really difficult to get going when you work until 3:30 AM and have to be back by 2:30 PM the next day. Sleep tends to take precedence or, at least, a general state of sloth. (Lack of sleep never helps me be in a good mood either–you can ask anyone in my family or the girlfriend). Work sucked again. Got done too late to really do much other than make dinner and relax a little bit before bed (back to work at 8, yippee!).

The last couple weeks have been very eye-opening into how difficult it can be for adults to make healthy choices. And that I am referring to myself as an adult/dealing with post-college issues makes me a little sick. But I understand the appeal of eating out or grabbing something unhealthy after a long day at work. When you work all day long (day after day) and then come home and just want to kick back and catch up on stuff, dinner is the last thing I want to make (I am the primary/only cook).

Working out takes a back seat too. I usually work by 9 (half of the time). I could work out before that (and I used to in high school). But it just doesn’t seem to work out that way enough. I’m more of the old-guy-with-his-coffee-and-newspaper kind of guys. I like to take my time in the morning, eat my breakfast, and read too many articles online (thanks cracked.com and grantland.com). After work, I have to make dinner or I’m tired (or usually both) and then I don’t get around to working out. There are a few days where I have time (namely, I don’t work until 4), and sometimes I take advantage of them. But other times, I want to use that free time to either take care of all the shit I need to do or just completely shut down and relax for a day.

Needless to say, dark times for Operation Suit Squeeze. Physically, I seem to be doing okay. Definitely keeping the same shape, maybe even a slight trimming but it’s hard to tell. But mentally, things could be better. Stay tuned.

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One thought on “OSS Days 5-7 — Frustration (or Why Being a Grown-up Sucks)

  1. Colline says:

    Even 5 minutes exercise would be better than none (no gym membership required for walking/running) – it would certainly help to make your day go better. If you feel too sore, maybe exchange it for 5 minutes meditation – clearing mental clutter generally seems to work.

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